“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” – Confucius
I’m not sure where you are on your own journey to a happy marriage. Maybe you are on the brink of divorce. Maybe you just got married, and can’t imagine your relationship being any better. Maybe you are in the middle, not an extreme, just kind of… hanging out.
No matter where you are, remember to keep walking. Or if you’ve sat down, get back up and take that first step. We underestimate the power in a single step in the direction that we decide we want to go. Deciding that you want a better marriage requires commitment to take the first step towards that dream…
Say something nice
When was the last time you gave your partner a compliment? When was the last time you were encouraging or supportive of a dream or idea she had?
If you can’t think of the last time you gave your partner the gift of a kind word, it’s probably not because you don’t have kind words to give. Often we’re just forgetful. Today, make a point to remember. Remember to let him know that you’re happy to see him. Whisper how beautiful she looks when she is helping your children with homework.
Words are powerful.
Ask a question
Americans often suffer from believing they know everything. More than likely you don’t know everything, and this is particularly true when it comes to your partner. You don’t know anything until you ask. Commit to making no more assumptions about what is going on in his head.
Assumption: You’re always so irritated when you come home from work.
Question: What happened at work today? Did something upset you?
Assumption: I’m the only one who cares about our finances!
Question: How do you feel about our financial situation? I’m concerned we’re overspending, what do you think?
Ask for help
We’ve told ourselves that things like marriage and parenting should just come naturally. We shouldn’t have to learn how to be good spouses or parents. However, if you or your partner have learned bad relationship habits, you might want to consider some form of counseling. A professional can help guide you towards a healthier relationship, much the same way a personal trainer guides you towards a healthier body. It might take a while, and it will take lots of work, but more than likely you won’t regret the decision.
Small steps are the only way that we you will see big change.
1 Comment
January 28, 2009 at 10:12 pm
[...] speak negatively, do something kind, etc. This is very similar to a post I wrote about taking baby steps towards a better marriage. I really like that they drive home the point that you must work on your marriage daily. You [...]