As promised, a review of the movie Fireproof:
Everyone and their mother told me about Fireproof when it came out. I didn’t run out to see it because a) each suggestion came with the disclaimer that the acting was… well, bad, and b) paying $10 to watch bad acting in a theater was not my idea of fun. I decided to wait until the movie was available to rent.
The acting was not the only part of the movie that made me hesitate. I love relationships. I believe that marriages are meant to be an amazing experience for everyone involved. I wasn’t completely sold that this movie would be good and healthy guidance for a marriage in trouble. I wondered if the actors would portray the reality of an unhappy marriage. Would the problems be realistic? Most importantly, would the solutions be healthy? And last night, during a 10:00 PM viewing, I got my answers…
Emotions of an Unhappy Marriage
Personally, I thought the actors who played the couple, Caleb (Kirk Cameron) and Catherine (Erin Bethea), did a great job. Especially during the “fighting” scenes. Caleb is frustrated with Catherine for not showing him respect, and with her being such a nag. Catherine feels alone, desperate for Caleb to communicate with her. I believe that part of why this movie has become such a huge success is because they were able to capture feelings most anyone in a marriage has felt at one time or another. We connect with Caleb and Catherine because most of us have been them.
Problems in an Unhappy Marriage
The problems that Caleb and Catherine have are somewhat vague. They seem unable to effectively communicate who is going to be home for dinner, much less share an intimate conversation. They are struggling financially, not because bills aren’t getting paid, but because the two have very different ideas of how to use their money (another sign of poor communication). Caleb struggles with pornography, and Catherine is flirting with a co-worker. The movie doesn’t get into lots of details about the problems, and at the same time seems to do a great job of covering a variety of issues within a marriage.
Healthy Solutions
The movie offers a pretty simple solution to the couple’s problems. Caleb’s dad challenges Caleb to the Love Dare. For 40 days Caleb is given a small daily task that will strengthen the marriage, i.e. don’t speak negatively, do something kind, etc. This is very similar to a post I wrote about taking baby steps towards a better marriage. I really like that they drive home the point that you must work on your marriage daily. You can’t run your marriage on auto pilot. It’s just not going to work that way.
My biggest problem with the movie’s solution is the underlying idea that one person is “right” and another is “wrong”. In the movie, Caleb is definitely seen as the ‘bad guy’, while it seems as if Catherine has no responsibility to make changes to her behavior. All marriages take two. Two people to succeed, two people to fail.
Fireproof or the Love Dare probably aren’t going to solve all of your marital woes, but it’s a great first step. If you’re able to see your marriage in the movie, it could be a hint that you guys need to change course. If you’re still happily in love it could be a great warning sign of what you want to avoid.
More than anything, it’s a great conversation starter… Have you seen it? What’d you guys think?
